 On Sunday I was about to clean our hummingbird feeder when I found these two adorable slugs, one is a baby. Not wanting to accidentally hurt them when I washed it- I (gently & carefully) coaxed them unto my hand with a leaf to transport them. When they started moving and using their tiny antennae eyes to sense and explore I could not resist the cuteness and had to take a few photos. Their energy felt very sweet and playful to me. Curious and innocent/open.
Please be gentle to these fascinating little creatures next time you see them in your garden & share some leaves with them. They eat a lot of decaying vegetation & help keep things clean. Pretend they are leaving a trail of sparkles instead of slime.They are basically snails without a fancy shell house. Sometimes after having meaningful encounters with wildlife, after sensing their energy for myself and forming my own ideas regarding the message they shared with me, I also enjoy reading about traditional & symbolic meanings associated with each one I met. I just looked up the slug in Animal-Wise by Ted Andrews, and found two pages of wonderful information including that "When a slug appears as a totem or messenger, we are opening to higher vision....The slug's appearance reminds us that we will soon recognize and realize the illumination that is always present within us." (p. 286-287)  I have written & talked about not using "it" when referring to animals, as this equates them to property. I am also thinking about what might change if we refrained from using the word "owner" and instead chose a word that more accurately describes our actual relationship, like friend, parent, guardian, caretaker, sibling, baby, companion? There are so many options, any one that resonates will work.
I quietly took the photo above while travelling -I did not want to disturb the sweet moment between this woman and her dog companion. I love how it shows their connection. It is not a moment we would have with our "property." I don't believe anyone reading this actually thinks of their animal companion as "property." It is mainly an issue of the language being outdated, and the way to update this is to start changing it right now. It's ok if we forget sometimes, but if we make a conscious effort to use new vocabulary it will begin to usher in changes. If we start talking and writing about them as beings instead of things, others will follow and eventually even the legal system will adapt to consider animals as sentient beings. It may not be immediate, but we can begin here. I have noticed that often friends & acquaintances will use similar word choices, it is a natural human tendency, allowing us to connect more closely. Paying attention to how we speak about our animals is a small easy first step to encourage others to feel safe doing the same. If someone seems resistant/bothered I always believe that kindness & sweetness are the way to go. This is not about changing someone's mind, simply updating our own language to reflect our own truth. Sometimes saying they are my "furbabies" is less intimidating/confusing to someone than saying they are my kids or my children. I am so proud & grateful to be an interspecies parent and I know most of you feel the same. It's ok to scratch out "owner" when you have to fill out documents and replace it with your own word.  I am sitting at my desk with my son Merlin adorably sleeping on top of my chair, comfortable despite the odd spot he's in- the way only cats seem to be able to manage. I do the majority of my animal communication sessions remotely, which means I am at home, in my studio, meditating alone or with my cat children in the room. I sometimes receive questions about why I prefer to do this instead of in-person readings (at least when the animals are local/live in the same city.) The best way for me to describe this is that when I reach out telepathically/energetically to someone's animal companion, I enter into a deep meditative state, send them reiki and ask for assistance from my guides in spirit as well as the animal's guides. I then give them my complete focus and attention. When I meet an animal in person, I receive very general feelings about their state of being. Are they happy, sad, anxious, etc. This part happens pretty naturally, the same way we can generally tell how people are feeling. So if I were to compare it to a painting, it is like a very rough line sketch of the animal. It is rare that I automatically "hear" words or sentences unless I actively establish an energetic connection and ask to communicate with them. There are also many distractions in person, their parents may be there, possibly talking with me, or there may be other animals or human siblings present. So in-person I typically receive "surface" information.
When I am connecting remotely, I "see" the animal energetically and am able to focus all of my attention on him/her and on the images/information they share with me in response to the questions their human companions have. I always send them rainbow reiki prior to & during the sessions, which strenghtens the energetic connection for me. To continue with the analogy of a painting, this is when the colors come in and as we continue the "conversation" the shadows and highlights are gradually filled in. It is helpful when there are specific questions, which then guide the conversation so the details appear and the whole picture of the situation is revealed with the most clarity. When I work long distance like this I also am able to take as long as is necessary, sometimes pausing the conversation to do extra energy healing for an animal that has been through past trauma or who has an illness. It allows me the flexibility to even do the session over multiple days if necessary. So for now a long-distance/remote connection is the best way for me to receive the information. It is possible it may change at some point. I am learning to channel, so perhaps once I am fully comfortable with that I might try different formats for my sessions. It is exciting and ever-evolving & I will post updates as changes develop. I LOVE getting to know all the animals (and the people who love them.) I am constantly in awe of the depth of love animals so freely share with their families (they send me emotions-so I am able to "feel" what they are feeling during the session.) Animal companions are our children, our best friends and our teachers.  Last week on The Lighter Side Show with Jamie Butler (links to view this on my home & appearances pages) I assured everyone that our animal companions who have crossed over the rainbow bridge do find ways to communicate with us and give us signs. I believe this 100% and on August 8th, a few days after we recorded the episode, I received a lovely reminder from one of my sons in spirit, Juneau. He crossed into the light at 15 years of age on August 8th, 2013. I later found out 8.8 is World Cat Day and also that astrologically it is considered the Infinity or Lion’s Gate Portal (those of you with more astrology knowledge will know a lot more about the significance of this than I do, but even with my limited understanding of it I gathered that he chose a pretty special exit day.)
Juneau had been on my mind the week before, and I asked him to have a special “visit” last Monday, (8.8.2016) and I even wrote it in my planner that we were going to do this. When I checked Facebook early in the morning, one of those “share your memories" posts they do popped up, but it was not from his passing, it was something I posted 2 years ago remembering when I had tried to buy a baby pouch to carry him in! As you can see in the photo, it was not his favorite thing (even though he did enjoy being carried around) and we returned the pouch. Later that morning I had a beautiful nice long visit with my son in spirit that completely lifted my heart. Afterwards, I decided to pull a single tarot card, and it was a black panther! Even though I had just communicated with him, it brought happy tears to my eyes to see this card. He had always looked like a panther (I included a photo of him for comparison) and the card was such a specific confirmation sign after our visit and connection. The card is from the Animal Spirit Deck by the Wild Unknown. www.thewildunknown.com/blogs/guidance/115070020-meet-animal-spirit It is a fairly new deck which I have only used a few times so far and the panther had not come up before. I love how the signs came from such different things as tarot and social media, illustrating that they can appear in any manner at all. Even if we are not directly communicating/connecting with our beloved animal companions in spirit, they will find a way to reach us, whether it is through something we are watching, reading or even sometimes via another person, such as if someone mentions their name or a stranger tells a story of something their dog does that is exactly like what your dog used to do. The messages could come from other (living) companion animals, from nature, or even in the mail. It doesn’t really matter how the signs come to us, as long as we are open to receiving them.  Animals are all sensitive, as we are, to energy, to emotions and to their environment. I’m writing this to discuss animals that are extra sensitive, and how we can help them be more comfortable.
Environment There are many things that can stress out extra sensitive animals in their environment, for example, fireworks frighten many dogs. My cat son Merlin is disturbed by the sound of metal when I put away silverware from the dishwasher and he is also bothered by the sound of our sodastream when we make seltzer water. On the other hand, he sleeps peacefully through the vacuum cleaner while his sister will nervously pace when she hears vacuuming in another room. While internet videos promote laughing at a cat jumping fearfully from a cucumber, I believe that it is our responsibility as their parents/guardians to never do anything to intentionally frighten them, even if on the surface it seems funny and harmless. It is their home too and by adopting an animal we are pledging to care for and protect them their entire lives. This includes protecting them from unnecessary stress, even inside the home. Each animal is unique and it is impossible to predict what may be a trigger for them. When we notice that something is scary or stressful for them, we must imagine ourselves in their position and do our best to minimize the impact of that stressor. If you have a rescued animal, there may be something in their past that caused the fear. Often loud noises may simply be painful to highly sensitive ears. With a newly adopted companion animal it is best to carefully observe them and their reactions to the home environment. Also when there are changes, even positive ones, like a new family member moving in or a child born into the family, these can be stressful. It is always good to reassure the fur-children that they are equally important members of the family and while there may be period of time when sleep deprived new parents can’t play as much, they are not being “replaced.” Emotions Some animals are emotionally extra sensitive. You can tell that certain things that may be fine for others cause deep emotional distress for these fur kids. When we had to take Juneau and Jarvis for routine visits to the vet, Jarvis would recover from the stress quickly, while Juneau sometimes took days to feel like himself again. Like with the environmental stressors, the more attuned you can be to your companion, the better you are able to help. Some things may be unavoidable, like vet visits, but maybe there is a vet that does home visits in your area? If it truly causes your fur child deep distress it is a great solution, one we have used ourselves for a while now. Otherwise there is a lot of literature online about steps you can take to help calm them before, during and after visits. Some animals are emotionally traumatized if they are yelled at or scolded. Same as with humans, think about the impact your words may have. Always be gentle. If you have an emotionally sensitive animal you are most likely already aware. If you are very bonded it is evident in their eyes, or they may be extra skittish, which will be evident in their body language. Again, be careful when raising your voice as you do not want them to become afraid of you. It is more about the tone than the actual loudness. Some of the extra sensitive animals have not had a lot of previous incarnations on earth and regular things may seem frightening and new. If you were chosen to be their caretaker/parent that is very special and the best way to honor this privilege is by protecting them both emotionally and physically. Energy Animals are often more sensitive to energy than humans. They sense the energy that is behind the words we say, and it is more important than the actual words. They are attuned to their people’s energy, which is why they can tell when we are happy or console us when we are upset. Animals also sense healing energy, such as Reiki for example, and know whether they want/need it or not. They can be more aware of spirit also. As with the physical and emotionally sensitivities, we can help them energetically too. If there is energy in the home that is disturbing your animal (even if you are blissfully unaware) it may be beneficial to clear the space by using sage, intention, crystals or anything else you feel comfortable with. When we lived in a condo apparently there was some energy coming from downstairs that Jarvis was sensitive to, and I was given advice to sage very close to the floor. (Previously I did it kind of higher up the way you normally see on tv.) This also made sense because animals tend to spend a lot of their time closer to the ground than we do, so they would be more affected by anything close to it. Sometimes it is a lovely energy that your animals sense, such as that of a family member (human or animal) that is in spirit, and this is fine as long as they are happy and not stressed by it. My mom’s parrot regularly sees the spirit of her former playmate Perry, a wonderful Shih Tzu who is in spirit now. She says his name every time she sees him. As with all the other examples, if you tune in to your animal’s emotional state it helps to determine if they are happy or if they need your help to feel more comfortable. *Photo Disclaimer:I photographed this sweet looking pup at Piedmont Park a while back-I have not done a session with him-I don't know if he is extra sensitive, he just has a great expression which I feel suits this post.  This past weekend I decided to trim our blinds because the computer power cords always create gaps that make them hard to close, and my husband's (and my) first concern was whether they could be trimmed so they would not have any sharp edges which could hurt our cat kids. The photo above shows my solution, (and Gracie Belle helping me,) I cut the edges in a rounded fashion, making sure to smooth out any rough bits. This was especially important because as you can see in the image they are now near eye level for Gracie Belle and Merlin.
I think most of us think about (human) baby and toddler proofing our homes, but we don't always consider that fur babies can also get into things that may harm them. Some of the things we have done include the standard cabinet baby proofing latches for under the sinks where we keep cleaning supplies. A lot of cats are inexplicably drawn to bleach and will try to lick it if they can reach it. For dogs it is important to also keep foods that are toxic to them, like chocolate out of reach. Our animal companions are unique and there are so many different types of homes, but a lot of store bought options for human babies & toddlers will work. In our case, we have a tile floor and stairs, so we bought sticky strips with cushion-y material to prevent the kittens from racing into a hard edge. Sometimes when they are playing & chasing each other they don't watch where they are going and run into the stairs. I feel a lot better knowing they won't seriously get hurt if they do. We also looked for the tallest almost-shag rug we could find to create a soft play area in the living room. So when they leap after toys they are not landing on hard tile. It can take a toll on your companions' joints when they are repeatedly jumping unto hard surfaces. Since our kitties also like to be on the kitchen counter, a simple solution for us was to turn one of the dining chairs sideways so they can use it as a "step" down and make two small jumps instead of a big one. When fur-baby proofing your home, try to consider everything from your animal companion's point of view, sometimes literally. How tall are they? Are there things at eye level that could scratch their eyes? Are any plants in reach? ASPCA has lists online of all the plants that may be toxic to animals. I've had to change my houseplants, and have learned to be creative with macrame hangers. Since plants are so beneficial for clean air in the home I do keep a lot of them, but make sure they are "safe" or otherwise out of reach. Not all animals chew on plants, so it really takes close observation to know what your fur baby will do. On the topic of chewing-consider wrapping/hiding electric cords too, at least during teething phases. This part should go without saying, but please, please never use any poisons aimed at killing rodents in your home. First of all these are terribly cruel to the creatures they aim to harm, and of course they may kill your companion if they get into it, or someone else's, like your neighbor's dog or cat, if they hunt the mouse or rat that has eaten it. This happened to my first dog when I was a child, and I feel a strong responsibility to warn everyone about this danger. When fur-baby proofing also remember to include your yard if you have one. Again, consider eye-level and also what your dog can reach or crawl under. Check for sharp or unfinished parts on your deck and make sure the wood is not splintered so it doesn't hurt their paws. Consider the plants in your garden & make sure they are safe to eat if your dog enjoys an occasional leafy snack. Once you have carefully fur-baby proofed, it is a great feeling to know your animal companion is as safe as possible in your shared home. As they age or as new companions join your family it may be necessary to adapt and add new solutions. It takes a bit of time & creativity to do this, but as I like to say, it's their home too!  For the past few weeks I have been living with ants in my kitchen. It has been a very interesting experience and I am learning so much. It is the first time they have actively come into our home and my first thought was uh oh. I do not kill ants, and normally if I see just one that maybe accidentally hitched a ride indoors on my shirt or on flowers I simply take them back outside. This time there were too many to take out, so I began observing them. I saw one ant die because a kitty accidentally stepped on him and then watched as another ant carried his dead family member all the way up the wall the same as a person who would not leave someone behind. It did not look easy, and the ant carrying the load obviously struggled, yet persevered. I have watched them collaborate and as their tiny antennae moved I couldn’t help imagine that we would think of them as cute if they were big enough for us to see their faces. I loved that the movie “Ant Man” showed them as such and especially the part where one remains “dog sized” as the family’s animal companion! Granted that is a fantasy also in the sense that an ant would be happier as part of their colony family, but it is a fun fantasy. I think it goes a long way in shifting our perspective of ants as “pests.” As humans we value individuality and this idea helps us respect ants as individual beings (even as they work together with their colony) with lives and goals that they very much value as we do. I also began to consider if the ants were there to convey something to me, what could I learn from them? I certainly learned not to leave dishes in the sink for too long before putting them in the dishwasher! My kitchen has never before been so sparkling and spotless! On a deeper level I realized they are drawn to sugary and oily food. This made me think about how I have been eating, my diet has been a bit too sugar heavy for a while now, since I discovered vegan doughnuts and vegan marshmallows existed! The ants are teaching me to remember what is healthy for me and perhaps to bring a bit of balance to my nutrition. Ants are also hard workers and never give up. They are NOT mindless drones, they very much value survival. I notice that when I start to clean an area they will give up the crumb they were eating rather than risk being accidentally smushed. When I do need to move one, they will climb on my hand and then walk down my finger to the new surface in a delicate manner that is purposeful yet careful. I know it may sound odd, but I find it endearing. I will be asking them to move out soon, it is not ideal for them to be in the kitchen of course. I worry about accidentally killing them when I clean or put down something heavy. I will thank them for the lessons I have learned and offer something in return for them leaving, like providing a small plate of sugar they can eat outside. Is it really so different than providing sugar water for our hummingbirds? Once you discover where they are entering your home, a well-placed dish of sugar or sugar water will keep them happily outside. If they need an extra bit of encouragement the scent of white vinegar or peppermint oil will also remove the “welcome mat.” I will not use any “pest control” chemicals that would kill them and could harm me and my family (and be much worse than a few ants living alongside us.) Ants are fascinating insects and showing the tiniest beings kindness and respect goes a really long way. If you spot a single ant inside on your arm, or walking on the porch table, please consider simply taking them out, or if you are outside already; letting them be, or even giving them your unwanted crumbs. They are very beneficial to the environment & our gardens are their home too!  Funny photo side note: when I set up this plate outside to photograph them, they seemed camera shy and it took quite a while to get one, then finally two to climb on! These two ants are a bit bigger than the ones in the kitchen, which made it easier to photograph them without specialized lenses, but their faces are just as cute!
 I will admit I generally do enjoy social media, I am very visually oriented and love the ability to communicate through photos. I also really like keeping up with friends and family I don’t see regularly, due to geographic distance or circumstance. However much fun and relaxing it can be to scroll down my Facebook and Instagram feeds, seeing the first blooms on a friend’s rosebush across the country or watching cute cat videos, it also sometimes feels like a minefield. Feeds are liberally sprinkled with stories and images of what animals endure at the hands of humans. These articles are sometimes accompanied by disturbing images that can haunt me for a long time. Sometimes there are stories with “happy endings” but they still describe what came first. Many are posted by animal welfare and rescue groups that I wholeheartedly support, they are posting in an important effort to raise awareness. Next they are “shared” widely by animal loving people who are outraged or upset by it. And this is not necessarily a bad thing. Awareness is important because when people are deeply affected by something they often follow it up with action which can lead to policies and laws that improve the lives of animals. And many people genuinely are not aware of much of what happens to animals, and don’t think about them as much as we do, so there is the crucial element of education at play too. My perspective in writing this post, as an animal intuitive, which I imagine is shared by many of you who are also sensitive and empathic to what animals feel, is simply considering how to navigate social media in a way that is empowering and uplifting, rather than depleting.
There are two levels to consider. There is the original post and then there are all the comments on the post. For example, recently, posts about the tragic shooting of Harambe were unavoidable if you turned on a computer or tv. The first level would be learning about his tragic death with the basic event facts. This already evokes a number of emotions for those sensitive to animals. The second level is the media storm that followed with absolutely everyone commenting and debating this sad event. When emotions are already high, it can be devastating and isolating to read dismissive comments from people who believe animals are less important than humans. It can even be difficult to read comments from those who do believe animals are equal when they are filled with (understandable) anger and grief. It may be somewhat less upsetting to read about whether this will bring about any positive changes for animals in zoos, because there is the potential hope that something good will result from a tragedy. These are examples of “huge” stories, but then there are the everyday stories of mostly domestic companions, dogs and cats, and those can be even more difficult because of the regularity with which they appear. Even from a peaceful & balanced perspective it is very difficult not to be filled with anger at seeing a story of someone dumping their older cat on the side of the road with his litterbox and belongings. Impossible not to feel pain at imagining how he would feel being “thrown away” at that point in his life where he should be a treasured family member. These (and much worse) are stories that have crossed my feed recently. There were also posts that point to changes moving in the right direction for animals, a bullfighter who broke down and wept when he looked into the bull’s eyes (the bull was refusing to fight) and now he is an activist against bullfighting, a story of a woman who rescued the last lobster in a grocery store, and new bill calling for less animal testing. Fortunately there are also happy stories, photos and videos of animals in loving forever homes where they are family always, documentation of kind people around the world helping animals in a myriad of ways, and of animals rescuing other animals. Part of what I want to address is that as a person who knows in her (or his) heart that animals feel as we do and who considers them very much as equals, it can be very difficult to see social media as an emotionally “safe” place. I often feel like I have to brace myself in case I see an awful photo of animal abuse in between a friend’s vacation photos and a silly list of “18 things I should know if I am a brunette." I have found a few ways to protect myself emotionally while still participating in social media, interacting and remaining aware of what is going on. It is important to take care of our emotions and stay uplifted. From this place of balance and power we can take action to help animals. If we allow ourselves to focus on only the negative we would be too depleted to do anything. It is not the same as pretending that it is not happening, I believe most of us that are sensitive to animals are all too well aware (all the time) of what is indeed happening to them. Below is a list of ideas based on what I have personally found helpful in navigating social media as an animal intuitive. 1. Choose certain times to scroll through, avoid right before bed to allow for a cushion of time to work through & honor your feelings if you do see something upsetting. 2. Subscribe to/follow several pages that post “happy” animal stories. It helps to balance feelings of despair when you see a lot of animals in good situations. This is why I post “Sweetness for your Thursday” on my FB page every week sharing a happy or adorable animal story. 3.Curate your “feed” as much as possible, if you have a well-meaning friend who constantly posts stories that are too traumatic for you to view regularly, you can “unfollow” them. 4. When you are planning to “like” a page, scroll down and see what type of content they post. Is it something you are comfortable seeing at all times of the day? Would it be better to simply check out their page or website from time to time for updates? Find pages that suggest and encourage “action” such as writing to your elected officials and signing petitions and things you can do in your own community & neighborhood to help animals & our environment. 5.Many of us don’t watch the regular nightly news on tv because it is basically a spoonful of negativity, but social media can be like that too, it is worth considering where you want to spend your time and how productive/uplifting it is for you. 6. “Hide” posts with traumatic photos- this way they won’t show up every single time you check. 7. Avoid engaging with “trolls.” It is not worth your valuable time. 8. You are not obligated to look at someone’s posts. If you have a family member who hunts, for example, you can unfollow them. 9. You can “hide” ads that bother you for any reason. If you click on them and mark that they are offensive, FB will substitute these with different ads. 10. Create visually “happy” places online, such as a Pinterest board of only companion animals in loving situations/homes. 11. A lot of solutions that apply in “real life” also apply online, such as choosing who you interact with and surrounding yourself with like minded individuals who support and uplift you and who understand your connection with animals and celebrate it. 12. Even once you have it all perfectly curated, it is still worth spending (at least) some time with your phone turned off, connecting fully with nature and with your companion animals instead.  It is important to always communicate with our animal companions. It is not necessary to formally be an “animal communicator” to do this. Animals are highly telepathic and are able to understand most of what we say to them (even when we “think” it in our minds.) They at least generally sense the energy behind the words, love, fear, anger, worry and so forth. They do their best to convey their needs to us, sometimes going as far as literally showing us. For example when your dog goes to the door or carries his leash to show he needs to go out. Or when your kitty keeps rubbing her head/ears under your hand, showing she wants ear scratches. They also connect with the way they gaze at us, and I believe anyone who shares their life with an animal already is communicating with them on some level, even if they don’t call it that.
They need us to try and do the same for them. Tell them where you are going and when you will be back. For example, “I have to go to work now, I will be back around 6pm” some prefer images, so you can mentally send an image of you returning at sunset. It is especially helpful to explain when anything out of the ordinary is going to happen, such as a vet visit, travel and moving. For a vet visit explain exactly what will happen, (an exam, a shot, a surgery?) and add when they will be safely back at home. Share as much as you feel would be helpful, I add that I completely trust our veterinarian and that she will help them. (Only say this if you mean it-I do.) Our vet is wonderful and she comes to our home. If you are taking them somewhere explain the car ride aspect too if they are not used to the car. Out of town travel can be stressful for animals, always tell them when you will return and who will take care of them while you are away. Finally, if you are moving to another home, this can be very scary for animals, especially for cats. Reassure them often that they are coming with you, that you would never leave them behind. This is crucial if you have a rescued companion who was previously abandoned by their family. Once in the new place, allow them to explore their new territory at their own pace (after checking to make sure all is safe.) One of my cats, Juneau, would immediately go in the bathtub to hide each time we moved to a new place. Other kitties may want to go under the bed. Make sure to bring items that smell like the old home, like comforters and blankets, and spread those on the floor for comfort. In addition to these event based communications, small every day ones are just as essential for your bond. Talk to them, but also be open to “listening.” Learn to “read” their emotions, they will show you freely. Most of us do this already. Simply try to take it a bit deeper. Focus on them when you are both calm and try to be open to any energetic message, image or thought they send you. These small changes will add even more depth to the loving bond you share with your animal companion. *The photo above is of Juneau in the 3rd home we shared together, our condo where we lived for 10 years. He made one more move to our current house which he loved until he crossed into the light in 2013.  This is a personal story I wish to share about this amazing cat who came into my life for a (too) brief time. The photos you see are of White Kitty. White Kitty started coming into our garden around October 2015. At first it stressed me out a bit, thinking he would hunt the birds in our wildlife sanctuary. He simply enjoyed watching them once we came to an understanding that I would feed him instead. He loved the path in our back yard (pictured) he would luxuriate in grooming his paws in the sun there and lounging for hours & blinking at the slightly offended doves. Although I had never desired having an outdoor cat because the dangers are so many (outdoor cats live an average of 2 years-compared to a 15-20 year lifespan for indoor only) I could not help myself when I saw that he was hungry and I put out a special bowl for him by the ferns in the shade. White Kitty was completely feral, so at first I had to go inside after feeding him so he would eat. I would show him the full bowl, put it down, then go in. Eventually after months of his he began to eat if I was outside, still keeping a 10-15 foot distance. We settled into a comfortable routine and I grew accustomed to looking for him. We didn't communicate much in words (in fact I thought he was a girl for a while and he didn't correct me) it was very much simply an energetic heart connection. Our indoor baby kitties watched for him too, through the screen door. White Kitty indicated that he liked being outdoors and did not want to live inside.
Last Sunday my husband and I were having breakfast on the deck and noticed White Kitty limping badly and not putting down his right paw at all. He could not put any weight on it. I sent him Reiki and felt him strongly absorbing the rainbow rays of healing, but he needed medical intervention too. Since he was still completely feral we got a humane trap and put it out on Tuesday. I asked White Kitty if he wanted medical help to please walk into the cage. My mom, who has been learning to communicate with animals, added to this message too. I also asked for his permission to neuter him and offer any additional medical intervention necessary. He agreed and walked into the trap that same night. I was elated that he agreed so quickly but also conflicted about having to trap him to help. Even though his "higher self" gave me permission, his instincts were to freak out a bit when he realized he was contained. We covered him (in the cage/trap) with a heavy rug and he settled down. The next morning our amazing vet came and cleaned out and disinfected his wound. She said it was a bite from another cat, probably over a lady cat. He received antibiotics for it, a rabies shot, he was neutered and tested for feline leukemia & hiv. (Results were good 100% healthy.) We kept him in a cozy carrier overnight to recover fully and he got fancy cat tuna that evening. Seeing him under anesthesia looking so vulnerable made me realize how much I had fallen in love with him and that I already thought of him as family, as ours, even though he lived outside. We released him the next day and he ran off, visibly better. I started harboring thoughts that since he responded so well to having been helped medically maybe we could with much love and time be his full time guardians/caretakers, his family. The vet mentioned that approximately 6 weeks after being neutered male cats settle down, and I thought this would mean he might stick close to home instead of the wide territory he was keeping. I posted on facebook to alert neighbors that we were taking care of him and to help me look out for White Kitty. Another day passed, he ate his food as usual, then on the evening of this past Good Friday there was a knock on the door and it was a kind neighbor, in tears, telling us she just found White Kitty dead on the road. He had been hit by a car and apparently killed instantly by a driver who did not stop. She recognized him from the photos I posted and she and her husband protected his body by detouring traffic until we walked over to verify that it was him. My heart sank, I did not want to believe it was him. It was White Kitty. At least from the physical signs it was clearly instant so he did not suffer. I wrapped him in a big towel and carried him home cradling his empty body closely to my chest. Even though I communicate with many animals who are in spirit, I am by no means immune to the grief and pain of losing a loved one, especially in this case, as it seemed so tragic for it to happen so soon after we had successfully managed to get him medical help and he was poised to live a healthy happy life in our fenced-in back yard. I had been imagining the day when he might lay in the sun next to me on the deck, maybe even allow me to scratch his ears after months or years. All that vanished in one instant. One careless speeding driver, one moment where perhaps something distracted White Kitty from looking at the road. It all changed in an instant. I know he is in the light now. I understand that it was his time. We lovingly laid him to rest the next morning with flowers from our garden. I know he (in spirit) watched us honor him the best we could. I communicated with him the next day. It still hurts so much. It hurts for what could have been but wasn't. It hurts because I wanted more time to show him how much we loved him. I wanted White Kitty to have years of sunshine and good health and lounging. I wanted to give him special tuna treats. Despite my tears at the physical separation I am also grateful. Grateful that he at least knew he was loved. That we were able to show him how much & to take care of him even if only briefly. Grateful that love always matters and our souls are connected. Grateful for the many lessons he taught me, for learning that I can't control outcomes, for overcoming my fear of taking action in the physical (as well as energetic) realm to help him, grateful that he will continue to visit our garden in spirit and that he will still be in our lives even though it is not how I envisioned it. Grateful for the signs he promised and has already shown me. I have seen white cats everywhere today, on a scarf, a pillow in a display window, a sticker on a bicycle basket and on a post from a favorite museum. Thank you White Kitty for adding so much to our lives, even though the end broke my heart, it is already growing stronger because of you. I love you forever. Thanks for reading about my story in White Kitty's loving memory. |
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