Interspecies Families Lead The Way Through Love

Many of you have heard me say that I am an interspecies mother, a cat mom. I often smile when I say this, and sometimes I worry that people may think I am joking because I smile while saying it. I am not. I have great respect & admiration for all mothers, including human moms with human kids, biological or adopted, but I never wanted my own human children. I’ve always only felt maternal instincts toward animals and I was so very fortunate to find an amazing husband who feels the same and is such a loving interspecies dad.  

While I realize my cat children are not human, and I don’t want to pretend they are, (I celebrate their species differences,) I do see them as 100 % equal. There is no part of me that feels they are in any way “less” than humans. They are not a “substitute” for me, they are my first choice. I feel so grateful for my feline son Merlin and daughter Gracie Belle (and my sons in spirit) every single day. I feel like they are a gift from the stars. The deep overwhelming love that I feel for them is what allows me to understand how much other parents love their children, human or not. I savor every minute I get to spend with them.

Going back to my initial comment about smiling when I convey this information. I do it because somehow sharing this love & feeling of absolute equality that I feel for my non-human kids can seem very subversive and even threatening to some. I smile partly to offer comfort to those receiving the information. Consider the implications of truly not believing in or acknowledging a species hierarchy. That means that our animal companions (or any animals for that matter,) can no longer be considered non-sentient “property” as they are under the law at the moment. Imagine the outrage and fear felt by those who hold the feeling of being superior to other species dear to their core belief of who they are. Some identify themselves & their “importance” in relation to who is “below” them, in varying degrees. I am saying, as a human, that there is no one “below” me.

For this post I would like to consider only companion animals (even though I feel all beings, including trees and plants are equal.) I have noticed that some of the negative reactions focus on the fact that we do not give birth to our animal kids. I believe parents of adopted human kids are just as much parents as biological ones, so I am not sure why this would be considered different for interspecies families. The other reaction I sense and see is that some are offended that we think our furkids are just as important as their kids, like when I pull out my photos when sharing photos of our children. This I believe stems back from an attachment to a belief of being at the top of a hierarchy as humans. This is something that is taught & highly engrained in a vast majority of people and change may take a bit of time.

There is a “fear” that we somehow won’t be as special as we think we are if we are not at the top of the hierarchy.  It will be essential for those of us who consider ourselves interspecies parents to assure those fearing change that by elevating the status of animals, everyone benefits. It does not take anything “away” from humans to acknowledge equality to animals. It does not make us “less” to see them as “more.” At the same time, there is no need for us to be apologetic about our love (and feeling of equality) for our animal kids. (I'm referring to them as "kids" within this context but I do understand they are not always “children,” sometimes their role is as a sibling, a best friend, a teacher. They are always family though, even though we are their legal guardians and their caretakers.)
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I believe that many of us already feel this love and equality. I know many interspecies families (and have been working on a photographic project focusing on those that chose to only have non-human kids,) and while I am not speaking for them, I can clearly see the love that these families share. There are also interspecies families that include human and non-human kids. I sometimes meet people who are almost apologetic admitting how much they love their animal family members. Whether you are outspoken about it or not, all of you who feel this love are stronghearts, and you are leading the way. By opening your hearts and loving your interspecies families, you are showing others how it can be.

Teaching by example is often the most powerful path to change. Friends and family will see how spending time with your animal companion is a priority and brings you joy, how deeply you connect with them even without words, and the many ways in which you enrich their environments and take care of them & their health. It will be apparent that you consider your home theirs too, and that your companions’ needs are never less important than those of others. Seeing your example will educate and empower those around you.

You may also smile when you talk about your dog son or your cat daughter, or your horse teacher, but the love lighting up your eyes as you say it shows that it is real, powerful and undeniable, and this love will create change.